User Biography
I’m 22, from Spring Valley, NY. I grew up chassidish and still carry most of what I was raised with. What changed is that I think about things instead of doing them on autopilot, and I’ve become more open-minded about how I hold them. Modern chareidi is the honest description. I work as a full-stack developer and AI automation engineer, building websites, web apps and automation systems for clients. I’m largely self-taught. I taught myself to code because I wanted to, and I’ve built it into a real parnassah. I’d rather be genuinely good at something than hold a title, and I get real satisfaction out of taking an idea in my head and turning it into something that actually runs. Outside of work: music and audiobooks constantly, time with friends, and camping in the summer. My friendships tend to be long ones. People tell me I’m loyal to a fault and that I give more than I should, and I’d rather that than the opposite. I’m the one friends call when something goes wrong. I’m not a person who performs. What you see from me is what’s actually there, and I’d rather have an honest conversation about something uncomfortable than a smooth one that avoids it. What I want to build is a warm home. Non-pressure and non-judgmental, with Torah values at the center held through kindness rather than intensity. A house where nobody is walking on eggshells and nobody is keeping score, and where Yiddishkeit is something the people in it want rather than something they’re bracing against.
What is this user looking for?
Ages 20 to 25. Religious level: modern chareidi, or chareidi with flexibility. The attitude behind the label matters to me more than the label. I’m looking for a wife who is kind, empathetic and flexible. Kind and empathetic are the two I care about most. Almost everything else in a marriage can be worked through if both people are genuinely soft with each other. By flexible I mean religiously flexible with each other. Neither of us should give up what matters to us, but we should each be able to adapt to the other’s level and needs instead of measuring each other against a standard. I’m not looking for someone who will tell me how many times a day to daven, and I won’t do that to her. Real Torah values, without a life built on stringency. What I most want us to agree on is chinuch. I don’t want to force Yiddishkeit on my children. I want to give it to them beautifully: a Shabbos table they look forward to all week, mitzvos presented as something precious rather than something demanded, and parents they see loving it rather than enduring it. Chanoch lanaar al pi darko (Mishlei 22:6). I hope they choose it because it was given to them in a way worth choosing. I want a wife who sees it the same way. Beyond that, I want an emotionally open marriage. Observation: someone I can be fully honest with, and who feels safe being fully honest with me. Real closeness and real warmth, nothing performed. That matters to me more than anything else on a page.